I am in the supermarket. I hope that she doesn’t see me, but she does. It is not that I don’t like her; I just don’t feel like dealing with her negativity today.
I have a lot on my mind and cannot deal with what is on hers at this moment. It is like her whole identity is wrapped up in what is wrong with her and her life. I can only listen to it for so long before it begins to drain me.
She comes over to greet me and silently I hope that she will have something positive to say—she doesn’t—it’s her hip that is bothering her this time. She is a kind and giving person, but her negativity keeps me from wanting anything other than an acquaintance relationship with her. She is a nice person; I just cannot take the constant complaints
The energy of the relationships you have can make a huge difference in how you feel. If you are constantly surrounded by negativity, doom and gloom, that is eventually what you will feel; surround yourself with positive relationships and the opposite will be true.
Let’s look at some ways to create a positive relationship.
Positive relationships are a two way street. If you find yourself in a continuously negative relationship, ask yourself what is your part in it. Has one or both of you got into the habit of moaning every time you see each other? Everyone needs to let off steam now and then, but if its becoming a regular habit, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship and see what changes could be made.
See the Good
See the good in others. You will usually find what you look for in relationships. If you are always expecting the worst, that is generally what you will find. Look for the positive in people and lift them up rather than putting them down.
Be genuinely interested in other people and their lives. Ask questions and find common ground. Step outside your own life and learn about the people around you.
Don’t Jump To Conclusions
Try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Many relationships have been damaged by people jumping to conclusions and thinking the worst about the other person. If a situation arises with someone else, be direct and give the other person the chance to set the record straight or explain their side of the story. We appreciate it when others do the same for us after all.
Be inspiring and fun to be around. Be there for others when they need you. People will enjoy being with you and naturally gravitate to you.
Like Attracts Like
If you have realized that many of your relationships are negative, maybe its time for a change. Seek out positive relationships with like minded individuals. You could try a new hobby or volunteer. Find places where you are likely to meet the kind of people you like to hang out with.
A sincere compliment goes along way. Notice the good in other people and what they do and let them know.
In our busy world, the art of true listening is a rare but simple gift that we can give others. Practice being a good listener and really being there for others. Really listening to others, whether it is our partner, work colleague, child or a stranger has the power to truly transform our lives and the lives of those around us.
Image by Fazen
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