“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller
I would like to kick off this article by saying that it is one of the most personal and meaningful ones for me to date. The journey of acceptance and forgiveness that I have been on has been both exciting and scary. At the end of this article I have included a video that has been transformational in the way that I view acceptance and forgiveness. I recommend that you view the video in its entirety.
Yesterday I had my first appointment with a massage therapist that was referred to me by a friend. Over the past two weeks we tried unsuccessfully to connect with each other via the phone. I share that with you to point out that there is no such thing as a coincidence. It turned out that the day that he came, was the day that I needed him most.
Over this past year I have been working on evolving into a more accepting and forgiving person towards those who have not shown the same to me and needed guidance getting to the next “level”. If you have read some of my earlier posts, (You are not the Boss of Me and How to Accept Others when They don’t Accept You) you would know that the universe put a challenging person in my path to help teach me this very lesson. Although I am not yet where I want to be, I have come a long way.
About and hour before my massage appointment I had an encounter with this challenging person that once again got me off balance. Although I vented my frustration and anger in my journal and to my boyfriend a little, I was still uneasy. The massage therapist could tell something with me was not right. It wasn’t something I said or did, he could just feel it. Without telling him any details, he said that I was like a cat ready to pounce, and he was right. I was still exuding the energy of the encounter that happened less than an hour ago.
This caught me completely off guard, as I did not expect that sort of a statement. This is not to say that a massage therapist does not have other skills, I just wasn’t expecting the insight. As he proceeded to work on me, the conversation continued to center around emotional, spiritual, mental and physical health. I quickly realized that not only was I getting a massage, but I was in the presence of someone who could also provide spiritual and emotional guidance as well. It turned out that he was also a healer.
He wanted to know the details surrounding my encounter, and seeing that he could help me get some perspective on the situation, I told him. Although it felt good being reaffirmed for my actions, I wanted to know what to do next. And so I told him that for the past several months this person and I have been treating each other like the other one was invisible (previously, I had tried to periodically to connect with her over a seven month period-she never initiated any dialog, and so I stopped).
One of the things that he asked me was if it was anyone else, and I passed them, would I say hello. My answer was “yes”. He then went on to say that by me not saying hello to her, I was not being myself. I was allowing her to change who I was. He was right.
But I could not fathom speaking to her first, especially not after latest treated me. I thought, how could I even say anything to someone who had been so rude. And, what if she didn’t say hello back, or thought that I broke down first or that I was weak for trying to engage her.
I recognized that this was my ego and that my work was to rise above it. I wanted to be the loving, kind me no matter who came my way (this does not mean allowing someone to walk all over you). And as the massage therapist said, it really did not matter whether she said hello back to me or even how she perceived me saying it to her, that was her issue. No matter what I did, she was going to think what she wanted to think.
Now saying “hello” doesn’t mean that I have to extend myself to her in any way beyond that, but somehow acknowledging her humanness (instead of ignoring her) feels like the true acceptance and forgiveness that I am trying to achieve.
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”
~ Bryant H. McGill
“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”
~Sara Paddison
“True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment.”
~David Ridge
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Hi, My name is Lisa. I am a mother, girlfriend, blogger, runner and happiness seeker.
I started blogging in March 2010 as a way for me to grow and help others by sharing what I learned.
My personal development journey began about 15 years ago.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Lisa, it’s not my turn to tell my story. When it is, I’ll be writing, speaking, of similar experiences.
Following up on my previous comment in this series (you have a series!), don’t take it personally, even when it’s personal!
Hi Dave,
Thank you for stopping by. I look forward to hearing about how you dealt with similar experiences. This is a new one for me. I have encountered challenges in relationships before, but none this intense and none where I sometimes had to work in close proximity of the person.