You Don’t Gotta Struggle No More

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Any place that you don’t want to be is your prison. If you don’t like the relationship you are in, the relationship is your prison. If your job is not satisfying, your job is your prison. If you are sick and don’t want to be in your body, your body is your prison. But you don’t have to stay in prison. You see, the door unlocks from the inside and at any time you can turn the key and set yourself free. It is not about changing your job, your relationship or even getting well, it is about changing your attitude.

Shift your focus

Shift your focus from not wanting to be where you are, to wanting to be exactly where you are; wherever there is. As soon as you do that, you will become free and it doesn’t’ matter how painful or uncomfortable your predicament is because you want to be there. It is only when you want to be somewhere else do you continue to experience tension, frustration and suffering.

Take for instance you get stuck in a traffic jam. Does it make sense to get frustrated, angry, impatient, or anything else? You might think that it makes you feel better, but actually it doesn’t. Having these negative emotions isn’t going to make the traffic move any faster. The only thing it does is contribute to your existing frustration. However, if you make peace with being stuck in traffic there is nothing to fight against. You have taken away the source of your discomfort.

Embrace where you are

As part of your shift in focus, you may have to let go of anything that your current circumstance may prevent you from doing, like arriving at an important meeting on time. You will just have to accept that your plans are just not going to go the way that you had hoped. That’s life! It doesn’t always go the way that we want it to. In fact, it rarely does. Look at your situation, like being stuck in traffic as an opportunity to do other things.

You could listen to music, set some goals, plan what you will have for dinner or what you will do that weekend. You could even use the time to reflect on your day or even your life if you want to go there. There are so many positive things that you can do while in traffic. You cannot make the traffic move any faster, so you might as well make the best use of the time.

Let go of expectation

Having expectations sets us up for disappointment. The more expectations you have the more disappointed you will be when they are not met. The truth is that expectations are rarely ever realized. Think back to all of those expectations about life (marriage, relationships, house, job, and clothes) that you had as a child. How many of them came to fruition? So choose to give all of your kindness, love and energy to life without expecting anything back in return.

Develop a teflon mind

Do you know what teflon is? It is that coating on pans that doesn’t allow food to stick to them. Well, imagine that you have a teflon coating on your mind that doesn’t allow you to collect thoughts, knowledge, or experiences. The more collectibles you have, the more chaotic you will feel.

Let all that comes into your mind roll off so that you can be free to experience the next moment. Think about it this way; You have to let go of what you have to grab onto something new. Holding on to the past, even the happy moments keeps you stuck and imprisoned. Allow yourself to flow through life experiencing each moment fully.

By the way, setting yourself free doesn’t have to be this long arduous process that takes years to accomplish. It is a myth that struggle has to precede change. So today, think about the ways you have imprisoned yourself and set yourself free.

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