One of the reasons I started blogging was to overcome shyness. You wouldn’t think that anyone who put themselves on stage or in some other public forum would be shy; however, time and time again I have heard of performers, singers, actors and dancers suffering from stage-fright. Some even getting sick moments before the start of their shows.
Shyness has been a thing of mine for as long as I remember. If you look through some of my older articles, you will see my transformation; not only in me becoming a better writer (I hope) but in me disclosing more and more about myself. You can say that my writing was more reserved in the beginning.
Transparency seems to be the big thing in the blogosphere and in the world for that matter. I remember how prevalent the topic was during Obamas run for presidency. People want to connect with “real” people. Look how many reality shows are on television. Even though we all know that they aren’t entirely real, we still watch them because in some way we can identify with the realness of the people on them.
Being transparent doesn’t mean blurting everything about yourself to everyone. That would be inappropriate and could put you in situations that you don’t want (I am sure you already know that). You must still use your discretion as to what you tell certain people. For example, I don’t go to work talking about all aspects my personal life. It is not that I am trying to hide it, it is just not the relationship that I have with my boss and my boss doesn’t talk about certain aspects personal life with me either.
If it is not work related,we keep things pretty superficial. We talk about working out and being parents. It is just not appropriate. Where I am transparent with my boss is with my work. He knows exactly what I am working on, when I am working on it and at what times. On my own accordance I send him bi/weekly status reports which I feel are essential to having a good relationship with your manager.
Transparency takes getting used to. when you first start doing it, it will feel strange especially if you are not used to allowing people to fully know who you really are. The good, the bad and the ugly. This is why blogging is so cathartic for me. I have come to enjoy sharing my pitfalls, mistakes and imperfections. And although sometimes I gasp before I click the publish button, I know that each time I do it, I free myself a little more.
How much of your good, bad and ugly are you sharing?
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Hi, My name is Lisa. I am a mother, girlfriend, blogger, runner and happiness seeker.
I started blogging in March 2010 as a way for me to grow and help others by sharing what I learned.
My personal development journey began about 15 years ago.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Lisa,
There are loads of bloggers who are shy in nature. I remember Dr John Gray saying that he had to overcome shyness in order to promote his book ; Men are From Mars Women are from Venus.
Hi Justin,
Thanks, I needed to hear that. On a much different level, that is what I feel like. I am out here writing my butt off, but have struggled with promoting my blog. I know that I cannot do it alone and haev recently began one of the most important part of becoming a successful blogger and that is making blogging friends. :-)
Indeed, I used to be a more introverted individual but after highschool and serving a mission learned that being myself and sharing it with others wasn’t a bad thing. It made me more magnetic and interesting to others and I liked how the confidence made me feel.
I recently checked our site’s analytics for the year to see which posts were the most popular and sure enough, my post where I shared the most about me as a person was on the top of the list.
You can do it Lisa!
Bryce
Hey Bryce,
Thanks for the inspiration. No, it is not a bad thing–in fact it is necessary for intimacy. I can definitely see how being in a mission would open one up. LOL! Thanks for telling me about your analytics–that is more motivation for me to share deeper and click publish. :-)
Hi Lisa,
Some people would call me shy and some people would say that I’m far from it. I tend to share more about myself in situations were I feel the most comfortable. I do have my moments of TMI and have been told that I disclose too much info in the beginning.
I actually have a problem with the word “shy”. I believe all humans are created to express themselves. If we can’t do it naturally, it just means that we learned that behavior along the way. The good news is that it is reversible.
Cheers!
Hi Vic,
Thanks for stopping by. Interesting take on the word “shy”. When I was putting this article together I wasn’t sure that was quite the word that I wanted to use. In another comment, the word “introverted” was used. I think that better fits me. I completely agree; our behaviors are shaped by our experiences or more acurately by how we perceive our experience. And like you said, it is reversible. We can always change how we view ourselves, others and the world.
Ah, the feeling of half-dread, half-excitement when clicking a publish, post, or send button… I know that feeling well. When it comes to posts and messages, I write them, review them over and over again, post or send them, and then I review them again in my head over and over again. It seems like I always make myself panic about it more than necessary.
Removing my social masks is certainly an issue that I’ve had trouble handling in the past, and still struggle with to this day. Sometimes, those masks can be a good thing, and help you deal with certain people, but other times they are a major hindrance. I know many people who constantly wear them, around strangers, family, and friends. It is because of these masks that they are unable to make close connections with anyone.
Recently I came across a website where one individual seems to be very interested in these social masks. (The website itself seems to be still a work in progress.) He calls them “personas” rather than masks, but it’s the same thing. He doesn’t seem to like these masks very much, and he’s trying to encourage people and help them to take off their masks and send him a message. Because I’ve known so many people who have had difficulty removing the masks (including me) I think what he’s trying to do is wonderful, I sent him a message myself about the subject.
Oh, and if you’re interested the website can be found here: http://www.beforethehollows.com
Hi Mathew,
I completely identify with panicking more than necessary. In fact, I would love to not panic at all. I tend to be a high-stress, high-anxiety person of which most, if not all of it is self-induced. The more I write, the more comfortable I feel about disclosing the details of my life; However, because I do know some of the people reading this blog, I still feel somewhat restrained. I checked out the website you indicated below. Pretty interesting. Did you catch the author’s “About” page? pretty cool. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and adding so much to the conversation. :-)
Hi Lisa
i used to be Shy and an introvert and as a learned more about personal developed i became the total opposite , an extroverted extrovert lol
very nice post :)